fourteen weeks | baby five

written July 25th

The cat is officially out of the bag as far as friends and family go.  We told the girls about the pregnancy and let them do a little gender reveal while we were in Georgia.  They were all so excited it made me happy.  And no one complained a bit about it being another girl.  One of the first things Elsie said to me was "The baby is going to drink milk out of your BODY." Yes, yes child, that is the plan.  I just thought it was cute that her mind went there right away.

I know that Thea doesn't really understand what is going on.  But even the night after we told them, when I was putting her to bed, she looked up at me completely unprompted and said "I gonna have a baby sister!"  And she has continued to say it at random times since.  At first she thought the baby was in her belly, but she has since stopped saying that.  She still gets so excited when she sees babies out in public, and wants to hold them all, so I can't wait to see her as a big sister.  But imaging her not being the baby is really hard as well.  Actually one of Elsie's friends looked at me and said "You're going to have TWO babies!" Initially I told her no no no, just one.  But then I realized she still counts Thea as a baby.  So yes, I'll have two babies.  :o)

I had a basic OB appointment on July 17th.  We could hear a strong heart beat and there aren't any other issues at the moment, so my next appointment is mid August at just shy of 18 weeks.
 
how far along:  14 weeks 2 days (compare to 14 weeks with Ryann, Elsie, and Thea)

size of baby:  A brilliant beat?  Ok Ovia app, whatever you say. 

weight gain:  I don't want to talk about it.  I don't even know today.  Probably something like +6 pounds.  Looking at those posts above I was clearly in MUCH better shape when I was pregnant with Elsie and Thea.  I'm trying not to dwell though, and keep moving, and know that after this baby (and when I'm done nursing) my body will belong to me and I have the rest of my life to be fit.  Not that I'm going to sit on the couch for the next six months or anything, but I'm not stressing. 

maternity clothes:  Still have no idea where my maternity shorts are.  My regular ones are uncomfortable, even my workout pants are kind of uncomfortable around my waist.  Loose elastic shorts or yoga pants are the only things I want to wear.  I'm ready for fall weather simply so I can bust out all my maternity jeans.

symptoms: Overall the symptoms are much much better.   I had a crappy couple days over the weekend (including a bout of dry heaving), but if I stay on top of Tylenol my headaches don't get too bad.

exercise:  I've gotten myself to do two videos on Beachbody on Demand, and gone running a few times thrown in there as well.  But mostly just walking.

cravings/aversions:  My preference is fruit, salads, and peanut M&Ms.  Heavy stuff just usually ends up making me feel sick, but I wind up eating it anyway.  Because I'm a glutton for punishment?  I don't know.

movement:  No, but we can hear her wiggling around like crazy on the doppler.

sleep:  If I fall asleep in my bed then I usually stay asleep, waking up once to pee.  But for the most part I haven't been awake in the middle of the night which is nice.  I have woken up with a headache several times, annoying.  

gender:  Girl

looking forward to: An ultrasound.  Trying to convince Christopher to bring a portable machine home because my ultrasound won't be until 22 weeks.  And movement.  Very ready to feel movement.

worries:  Too many to list, but they aren't making my anxiety flare too much so whatever.

best moment this week: We let the girls listen to the heartbeat on the doppler and the way their little faces lit up the moment they heard it nearly made me cry.  They were both in awe (Thea didn't really care).  And of course then we had to listen to all of their hearts with the doppler to hear the difference.  That was kind of fun.

thea - twenty three months

 Here we are.  Less than a month from two.  And Thea's current personality definitely shows it.  HA!

Miss Thea can definitely be a sour patch kid sometimes.  She is THE absolute sweetest little girl.  I get so many hugs and kisses and I love yous, and she can still be a great cuddler.  But my word if that child doesn't get her way be prepared to feel her wrath.  She is stubborn and headstrong and knows what she wants.  And can throw a tantrum like the best of them!

She is fully in size 2T clothing, which the exception of a few 18-24 month items that I still liked and couldn't quite convince myself to put away yet.  She is wearing size 5 diapers and between a 5-6 shoe.  Still no 2 year molars, though her hands are shoved in her mouth all the time.  I'm sure there really is no connection there but I'll just keep pretending.  Thea is great at going to sleep for nap and bed, and I can't remember the last time she has woken up in the night, but her definition of morning and my definition of morning are sometimes not the same.  She has regularly been up in her crib around 5:30am (just like her early bird sisters, weird), but she rarely ever gets up set/calls out to us or anything.  She just plays with her baby dolls and stuffed animals until someone comes in to get her.  I'm sure the early morning wake ups have nothing to do with the fact that she can easily nap three hours a day.  I have to wake her up at least 3 times a week, if not more.

It is funny that Thea stays in her crib so happily, because that girl can definitely climb out.  I'm not sure what to do with that.  The other day I put her in her crib for a time out as a last ditch effort to try and get her to cooperate with something, and she just immediately swung her legs over the top and climbed down like it was no big deal and she does it all the time.  She is such a dang good little climber.  We have some book ledges in the playroom, and she climbed to the top one, and then without her feet touching the shelves, came back down cliff hanger style, just walking her hands to the next shelf.  I was baffled.  I tried to hide some stuff she wasn't supposed to have on top of the 8 cube ikea shelf, and she just scaled the damn thing.

Thea also believes she can jump off of anything.  It still baffles me, as Ryann seemed basically incapable of jumping until after she was three years old.  Whereas Thea has been getting air for who knows how long, and has no fear when it comes to taking a flying leap off a random piece of furniture.  I want to try and curb the habit, but I also get tired of pulling her off of stuff nine million times a day.  So I guess we're going the natural life lessons route, and hoping that if she totally bites it that maybe she'll reconsider the next time.  But she probably won't.

Thea's vocabulary is HUGE (enunciation can still be rough) and sometimes her conversations and phrases are just so damn funny.

Discussing going out on the boat for fireworks...
Me (to Christopher):  "Maybe you should just stay here and put Thea to bed and I'll go out on the boat with the big girls."
Chris:  "Yeah, not a bad plan."
Thea:  "I want go on da boat.  BYE! I weaving you!"

Thea:  upset at lunch time "Want squeeze pouch!"
Me:  "You want a squeeze pouch?"
Thea:  sobbing "Yeah!"
Me:  "I'm putting one on your plate for lunch, ok?"
Thea:  still sniffling "Otay."
Me:  "And some apple AND some chicken nuggets!  Deal?"
Thea:  sobbing again "No deal!"

Meal times with her pretty much suck.  She likes squeeze pouches and blueberries reliably.  And sweets.  Definitely sweets.  Everything else, well your guess is as good as mine.  I mean I can almost guarantee she won't eat grilled meat or any vegetable.  For some reason she also dislikes mango (what is wrong with you child?!?!?!)  But these days even mac 'n cheese is hit or miss.  I truly, truly thought I couldn't get a child pickier than Ryann.  I was wrong.  So I guess we'll just feed her a steady diet of squeeze pouches and hope for the best.

I pulled little miss I only do what I want from gymnastics after three classes.  Stubborn Sally did not want to do anything that was requested of her, and I couldn't deal.  One of the coaches tried to give me the 'eventually they get better at following directions' speech, but yeah, no thanks.  We'll try again in a few months.  Dance is also kind of an absolute disaster, but slightly less so, and I preferred it over gymnastics, so we'll keep that up for now.  It's only mildly (horribly) embarrassing chasing her all over the room trying to convince her to participate when pretty much everyone else is sitting and doing what they're supposed to and managing to wait in line and take turns, etc.  Come on Thea, give your mama a break!  She's lucky that she is dang cute in a leotard and I enjoy seeing my friends.  :)

Yellow still seems to be Thea's favorite color, followed by purple, I think.  She is in love with all the Disney princesses, and thinks Belle's yellow dress is so pretty.  She recently told me she wanted to have an 'Elsa, Anna, No-man' birthday party, unfortunately I've already been planning an ice cream one!  Mermaids also rank high on her love list, my little girly girl.  And babies, real and fake, still make her little heart happy.  She hugs and kisses all the babies she sees on instagram with me.

Love you sweet girl!!

twelve weeks | baby five

I haven't been taking pictures mostly because I didn't have a plan or a cute/easy spot to do it in.  But that is lame so bathroom selfie it is. Apparently 5th pregnancy = BELLY

written July 9th

It's been a few weeks, and quite a bit has happened.  Let's see if I can remember every thing I wanted to write down...

I found out one of my best friends who experienced a miscarriage shorty before I did is also pregnant, due just a few days after I am.  I am thrilled for her, and hope that we both have uneventful pregnancies and kiddos who are born around the same time.

I had another appointment with my OB on June 26th.  She was able to easily find the heart beat, and said it sounded wonderful.  In her opinion the pregnancy seems to be progressing without issue, but I still know that doesn't really mean a lot.  But for now, I'll continue to try and take comfort in her confidence.  I've been able to hear the heart beat on my own doppler almost daily since finding it at nine weeks.  I feel slightly neurotic, needing to hear it so often, but at the same time I know it is keeping my overall anxiety at bay.  So until I can feel movement I think I'll continue to listen every other day at minimum.

At about the 10.5 week mark I was standing in the kitchen looking at something on my phone.  Ryann asked me, "Mom, are you standing funny?"  Realizing that I was not sucking in my slightly protruding belly at all I said, "Oh, um, probably," and straightened up.  She notably paused with a slightly defeated look on her face, then said "maybe by Christmas time there will be another baby in your belly."  I hate 'lying' to her, omitting the truth, but I am so scared to hurt her again.  Kids are tough, but I know she still thinks about the loss and her baby sister she didn't get to meet from time to time, and I don't want to put her through that again.

Our early genetic testing came back.  Baby is low risk for genetic abnormalities, and with no surprise to anyone at all, is female.  Another sweet baby girl is growing in my belly.  Part of my heart aches for the son we will never have, and the other part is overflowing with love for our all girl tribe.  Half of me is sad to not have a good excuse to do some baby clothes shopping, and the other half is grateful that my hair bow obsession can continue on with another baby girl.  :)  We haven't really told anyone the sex of the baby.  We plan to share the news with my parents and the girls at the end of the week, and I'm sure my mom will go crazy when she finds out we've known for almost two weeks at that point!

Lastly, as of today I have passed my loss milestone.  Only by a day.  And by no means do I feel confident that we will have a positive outcome, but I think every day will add more hope.  At least I really hope it will.  I yearn to be blissfully pregnant, and not mentally correcting anyone who says something about when this baby is born to if this baby is born.
 
how far along:  12 weeks (compare to 12 weeks with Elsie, 12 weeks with Thea)

size of baby:  A ripe apricot, about 2 inches long. She has started developing reflexes and is practicing breathing.  Her kidneys have also begun to function.

weight gain:  +3 pounds.  I'm guessing any way.  Last I checked it was almost two, and my appetite has been a whole lot better over the last week or so.  Yikes. 

maternity clothes:  No, but some bottoms are really starting to get uncomfortable around my waist.  I can't find my maternity shorts, so I'm just wearing pajamas as much as possible.  Which I'd probably do anyway.  Lol.

symptoms: Much less queasy than I have been, but it is still there from time to time.  Most often I'm dealing with fatigue and headaches.  I'm trying to take tylenol somewhat regularly to try and keep them at bay.  Overall I still feel much less sick than I did with the miscarriage.

exercise:  I've been horrible with exercise and I feel pretty guilty about it.  I still average just over 10,000 steps a day, but I've barely been running and all strength training has pretty much gone out the window.  I've had little humans awake with me bright and early most mornings, so the easiest thing to do is fill up a snack cup and stick them in the stroller.  If Thea were a little more trustworthy I feel like I could do a video with her around, butttt I'm not in to stopping over and over and over again to pull her off of stuff.

cravings/aversions:  While my appetite is back, I still mostly just want fruit.  Water is hard to choke down and anything too heavy leaves me with a nasty taste in my mouth.  If someone could make me fancy delicious salads all the time I'd very much appreciate it.

movement:  nope.

sleep:  I've been awake in the middle of the night more often, but I think that has more to do with the fact that I'm falling asleep at 8pm, and have gotten several hours of sleep by 2am.  Occasionally I'll take half a unisom so I can sleep straight thru, but for the most part I'm just dealing with it.  

gender:  Per the usual I have no sixth sense on this stuff.  It's a girl!

looking forward to:  Feeling movement.  I'm still struggling to connect with the pregnancy, no matter how much I want to.  I think actually feeling the life inside me will help.

worries:  That we'll share the pregnancy with the girls and suffer a loss shortly after.

best moment this week: Finding out that we're having another girl!  And that the risk of genetic abnormalities are low.