more to love

As if this year wasn't going to be crazy enough as it is, we decided throwing another baby in to the mix was a fantastic idea. ;o)  We're happy to announce that Baby J 3.0 will make their debut in August!

My official due date is August 14th, so I'm banking on a baby around the beginning of the month.  Unless gestational hypertension isn't an issue this time around.  Which would be cool.  :o)  Ryann is very excited for me to have another baby, and Elsie is as thrilled to be a big sister as any two year old can be.  Which means she keeps trying to look in my belly button for the baby.  We didn't tell the girls I was pregnant until Elsie's birthday party, because I knew there was no way Ryann could keep the secret to herself.

And yes, we will be finding out what we're having.  Actually, we already know.  !!!!!  But that deserves a post all of it's own.  ;o)

sleep training... yep again.

We previously sleep trained Elsie just before she turned six months old (read about it here and here).  E was sleeping swaddled in the rock 'n play, plus she wasn't falling asleep on her own.  She stopped letting me rock her to sleep easily, and I didn't want to create a nurse/feed to sleep habit, so sleep training it was to break all those habits.  It sucked.  But it worked for a little bit.  Then we started having issues with her going down for naps.  It would take her 30-40 minutes to put herself to sleep, and sometimes, well, I kind of need her to take a nap when I need her to take a nap.  Sorry Elsie.  #secondkidproblems

So I started nursing her to sleep.  It started off just being here and there, when I knew she really needed a nap and she just wasn't going to sleep.  Then it started happening more and more for naps, and then after a while I felt guilty nursing her for naps and then expecting her to go to bed on her own.  And it was just easier when we were traveling so much because she always fought going to sleep in the pack 'n play.

But hey, it worked.  And for the most part it didn't really affect her night time sleep.  She has been pretty much waking once a night since that time.  And throughout the most recent month 5-7 nights of the week her once is at like 5am, and even makes it until 6:15am sometimes.

Except nursing her to sleep ISN'T working anymore.  She regularly wakes up when I try to transfer her to the crib, and at that point if I leave her she just screams.  If I try to nurse her back to sleep it doesn't always work.  So she is skipping/missing a lot of naps.  Not to mention I can't be away for more than a couple hours at a time and I ALWAYS have to be the one to put her to bed.  That isn't really conducive to any date nights or the like.  I've missed a few events I really wanted to go to simply because I didn't want to burden any one with trying to get her to sleep, nor did I want to leave her upset.

Which means it is time to break the habit once and for all (I hope).

We started the Ferber method (progressive waiting approach) on Thursday night, and it went over much much better than I expected.  Bedtime was hard for me to give up nursing her to sleep, because we almost never had any issues with it (other than me wanting to be gone a couple evenings).  And she was quickly drifting off to sleep so I had to cut her off.  I gave Elsie some snuggles and laid her in her crib with her owl.  When I closed the door she cried, so I set the timer on my phone for five minutes.  By the time it went off she had already calmed down considerably, to the point that I didn't feel I needed to go back in there.  And less than 20 minutes after I put her in her crib she was asleep.  Really?  Just like that?  I was thrilled.

Naps yesterday went pretty well too.  I never had to check on her for the morning nap, and she was asleep in less than 20 minutes again.  For the afternoon nap I could tell she wasn't as tired, and while watching the monitor, shortly after I walked out, she threw her owl out.  I decided to just leave it be, she was quiet.  But she kept getting up and reaching for it.  At about the 20 minute mark I decided to go in and get it for her.  She cried HARD when I walked back out, but again, only for a minute or two.  I didn't think she was going to fall asleep because she was just playing around, but right when I was going to throw in the towel and go get her, she fell asleep.  SCORE.

Elsie only slept about 45 minutes for that nap, so she was pretty tired come bedtime.  I had to work hard to keep her from falling asleep while nursing (actually I'm not really sure I succeeded).  When I laid her down in the crib she attempted to protest, but her cries lasted less than two minutes and I'm pretty sure she just passed out.

Where I am running into the biggest problem, is early in the morning.  Yesterday she started stirring around 5am.  She started fussing around 5:30am.  And by 5:45am she was pissed and wanted me.  In the past I would have gone in shortly after 5, nursed her, put her back in her crib, and she most likely would have gone back to sleep.  But the truth is I do want to wean soon (there are only so many more swift kicks to the jaw I can take), and once I'm done nursing I don't really want her up for the day at 5:30am.  In my ideal world both girls would be in their beds until 7am.  Yep, that's all I'm asking for, 7am.  On a good day I'd take 6:30am.  But before that just makes me not a very good mom.  Not because I need to sleep (well sometimes), but because I crave a little alone time in the morning.  To workout, or shower, or just freaking sit on my computer because I can and it's quiet.

Right now I'm going to try and avoid nursing her until 6am, and hopefully keep pushing that time back by 10 minutes or so every few days until I'm not nursing her until 7am (the earliest time I ever intend on serving breakfast).  But we'll see how it goes.  Naturally I sat down to type this post out and now it's 6:05am and I haven't really heard anything from her.  Good work Elsie, good work.

I know sleep training isn't for everyone, but I like to share our experiences with it, because if the child takes to it I believe it is a truly beneficial process for everyone involved.  My life changed dramatically when we sleep trained Ryann, and I doubt the change will be quite that dramatic this time around, but I am excited to have a little bit more freedom in my life.  And I honestly expected her to resist and scream a whole lot more, but Elsie surprised me.  Thank goodness.

a baby shower for my bestie

This past weekend I had the pleasure and honor of co-hosting a baby shower for my best friend.  She's had part in hosting two wonderful baby showers for me (here and here), so I was beyond thrilled to return the favor.  Meg is due in early December with a sweet baby boy, and I am just beside myself excited to meet him.  I can't wait to watch my friend become a mama.  And just typing that makes my eyes well up.  Sheesh, I'm such a sap :o).

Our theme was 'Oh the Places He'll Go'.  No, not like the book.  No, not planes, trains and automobiles.  Maps and globes and suitcases, mmmkay?  Haha, the mama to be told me she planned to use globes or maps as well as burnt orange in the nursery, so I went with it.  I had many grand plans for this baby shower and I was so incredibly excited while planning it.  But of course the procrastinator in me just couldn't get going, and then suddenly it was a week to go and I had, um, nadda put together.  Overall I think it all turned out great, we had a good time, the sweet little man was showered with love and gifts, and Meg was happy.

And of course I just realized I have yet to take a picture of the invitation I designed, and I'm a wee bit too lazy to get off my butt and go do it, so that will be a separate post at some point.  Also, please please PLEASE excuse my crappy photography.  I of course was running behind and trying to snap these before everyone started eating and such.  Therefore I didn't make sure my settings were right nor did I check to see if things were in focus.  Whoops!  But you'll get the idea...

I of course used pinterest to round up all of my ideas.  Many of the recipes and decoration inspiration can be found here, on the board I created specifically for the shower.  Our menu was somewhat of a sampling of foods from around the world.  Greek layer dip, curried snowball, Asian chicken lettuce wraps, turkey taco bites and caprese skewers made up the appetizers, while the desserts consisted of pumpkin cake balls, French macarons (from Natasha's on the plaza) and mini salted caramel apple pie bites.  The take home favors for the guests were just a bag of snack mix (M&M's, peanuts, pretzels, Cheezits and yogurt covered raisins) tied with baker's twine and map circles. 

About those map circles... originally the plan was to find vintage maps to cut up and use for decor.  But Katelynn is a procrastinator just like me, therefore when she got around to making the garlands, there was no time to look for vintage maps.  So our circles are cut from print outs of a vintage map image found online.  They looked great and were cheap and easy enough.  So don't stress about finding the real deal if you're going for the same look.

I'm generally not a fan of shower games, but go figure we played three different ones.  When guests arrived, I had them fill out a bingo card with items they thought Meaghan might receive as a gift.  Then during the gift opening they crossed off spaces as they went.  It's was a fun and easy way to keep guests entertained and interested while the guest of honor is doing her thing.  Although baby shower gifts are my favorite to watch being opened anyway.  Baby stuff is just fun and cute.

Before the gift opening, we also 'celebrity baby match', at least that is what were calling it.  Katelynn put together a poster with pictures of celebrity couples, and also pictures of their babies.  Guests had to try and match the baby to the appropriate set of parents, and they got bonus points for knowing the child's first name.  I'm not sure I would have gotten more than two points or so, but Meaghan has a thing for celebrity gossip and the like, so we thought it was a fitting game for the party :o).

Our last game was 'The Price is Right.'  For our gift to Meaghan, my mom and I filled a basket with different baby necesscities (which of course I forgot to get a picture of).  Guests were given a sheet listing each item, and then I more or less opened the basket for Meaghan and described each item.  Everyone wrote down their best guess for what each item cost.  Whoever came closest to the basket's total, without going over, won a prize.  For prizes I wrapped up a $5 Starbucks gift card along with a small candle from Target.

We also had one activity for guests to complete.  Katelynn gathered some postcards, and then each guest wrote down some advice for the baby boy as he 'traveled through life.'  Clever, huh?  :o) 

Meaghan, I truly am so excited for you to become a mama.  You're going to be a natural.  I had so much fun putting this shower together for you, I love you!  And a huge thanks to my mom and Katelynn for putting everything together with me, I couldn't have done it without you!

this and that

::  It's fall ya'll!  Or so I keep hearing.  My calendar says September, school has started, and yet if feels nothing like fall to me (which I guess it technically isn't until September 22nd, but hey).  That doesn't mean I'm not starting to collect fallish things on pinterest.  And the fall item that is concerning me the most right now?  Halloween costumes of course.  In past years I've had ZERO ideas.  Nothing that sounded fun or cute.  This year?  I just can't decide.  Do I do just sibling costumes (Doc McStuffins and Lambie, butterfly and catepillar, cat and mouse...) or do we go with a family set-up?  Right now I'm leaning towards the latter, and going as a circus troupe (so many options, ring leader, clown, acrobat, strong man, a variety of animals).  But Ryann isn't sold on that.  She keeps telling me she wants to be a unicorn, or a goat (WTF?).  So I'm not sure what to do.  What do you think?

::  TMI Alert, poop talk!  We started purees with Elsie a few weeks ago, and she has taken to it like a champ.  She rarely spits anything out, hasn't rejected anything we've tried and is super excited about it all.  Unfortunately it doesn't seem like the purees are agreeing with Elsie.  On Sunday it had been a week since she had pooped, so we thought we'd be all smart and feed her prunes for lunch to get something to happen.  She woke herself up from her afternoon nap by throwing up everywhere.  I thought maybe there was just too much in her belly since she had never had lunch before, so I laid her on a towel on the floor and went about cleaning up the mess.  Then she threw up again, and then was screaming in pain trying to poop.  After getting some out she passed out in my arms, only to wake up 10 minutes later throwing up again.  The cycle continued a few times until she just passed out on the floor and slept for over an hour.

It seems like all of the hard stuff has finally passed out of her system, and she is in a much better mood, but now I'm terrified to feed her anything again.  She often goes a long time without pooping (the record is twelve days right now), but they are always soft and fine and it isn't a problem.  This?  This is going to be a problem.  Anyone have any suggestions for how to deal with this?  She loves to eat, and obviously will have to be on solids at some point, so somehow I have to figure out how to make it work with her system.

::  Speaking of Elsie, I regularly get asked if someone has missed her nursery post because they can't find it.  Yeah, um, I still haven't posted everything about it, because I still haven't 'finished' it to my liking.  I need to take the curtains down and wash them to see if I can get them to hang right, I want to get roman shades to go behind the curtains, there needs to be book storage somewhere (more on that below) and the walls feel kind of naked.  I keep telling myself that this will be the weekend that I decide what is going up on the walls, but it never happens.  I'm so indecisive.  Here are a couple peeks at what it looks like right now.  Sorry the quality isn't the best.

::  In terms of book storage, I was thinking I'd really like to do a couple of clear bookshelves (like this) underneath the 'love' print.  But Chris doesn't think it is a good (safe) idea.  I see where he is coming from, but I see tons of rooms with book ledges that are in reach of the kiddos.  So I'm torn.  Thoughts on that one?  Do you like how I always turn to the interwebs when I need to make decisions?  You all are so helpful :o).

::  And speaking of the hubs, he sent me a link to an article this morning that was an interesting read... The Trouble with Bright Girls.

::  Lastly, Ryann napping officially has come to an end.  Well, actually most days she will usually fall asleep, sometimes with zero trouble at all.  But that is because she has been getting up at 5:30 IN THE MORNING.  I mean I get up at 5:30 in the morning, but nobody else has to take care of me.  She also has been telling us she isn't tired, even at 9PM, some nights not falling asleep until almost 10.  So I'm thinking the naps have got to go.  I had planned on putting some quiet bins together a few weeks ago, because that girl is DEFINITELY going to have some quiet time for my sake, but never got around to it because she started napping again.  Now it is time.  Better go get my butt in gear!

sleep training update

After a little over two weeks I figured it was about time for an update on how the sleeping situation has been panning out around here.  The short story?  Elsie is putting herself to sleep, in her crib, unswaddled, but is not sleeping through the night and it isn't always without tears.  But we have accomplished the goals we set out to achieve.

Alright, the longer story.

Elsie is all over the place with this whole putting herself to sleep thing.  Sometimes she doesn't fuss one bit, and only takes 10-15 minutes of just kind of rolling around and rubbing the sheet to put herself to sleep.  Sometimes she still screams like crazy and I have to go in a couple times to rub her back.  And sometimes she just sort of complains but eventually goes to sleep without any assistance from me.  Thus far it is hard for me to find any correlation between something going on prior to a nap and her crying episodes.  It is definitely more difficult for her to go to sleep quickly when she gets over tired, but I still have a hard time gauging her sleepy signs.  She'll be yawning and rubbing her eyes after 90 minutes, but if I lay her down she is pissed and doesn't fall asleep until the two hour mark.  So I don't know.

Nap length is also a place where we are struggling.  I know this is the point where I believe we ended up forcing Ryann in to a two nap schedule to try and help consolidate her nap hours, but Elsie just doesn't seem ready for that yet.  She doesn't freak out when I keep her up longer than two hours, she is really a good baby and takes it, but I can tell she is tired and I just feel bad.  So we're still doing three naps.  Unfortunately sometimes she only makes it 30-40 minutes, and then she is just grumpy.  I usually let her fuss for 10 minutes if she wakes up before the hour mark, and sometimes she'll go back to sleep, but not always.

quite the view to wake up to... on the to-do list, figure out where to mount the camera

Bed time can be touch and go too.  She either needs to fall asleep nursing and be sound asleep when I put her down, or be fairly awake.  Drowsy doesn't work for her, if I put her down pretty drowsy that is when she cries the most.  It is so incredibly sad.  Where I've seen the most improvement is the middle of the night.  That is the one time where she almost never fusses or needs any help from me.  In general I have to feed her once, sometime between 3:30am & 5:30am.  I much prefer 5am or after (obviously) because then I can just get up and go run or get something done when she is back in her crib.  And those nights she usually sleeps until 7:30-7:45am.  On the days when I feed her between 3:30-4:30am she is up between 6:30-6:45am.  There have been a couple nights that she has gotten up twice, and one night where the poor thing really did try to put herself to sleep after I fed her, for over an hour, and just couldn't.  So I ended up going back in and nursing her a bit longer until she was asleep.  I felt so bad.  But really the middle of the night has been pretty good.

I'm hoping that we don't ever really need to deal with night weaning, and that she just does it on her own.  Plus, I really truly don't mind the 5:00-5:30am wake-up, because at least then I can go run knowing that she won't need me for another three hours.  And I don't have to deal with pumping.  Because I hate pumping.

Aside from freeing me from spending hours trying to get or keep Elsie to sleep, my favorite part of this whole ordeal has been seeing the positions she ends up sleeping in.  She instantly seems older and bigger to me, not all swaddled up on her back.  For the most part she sleeps on her belly.  Occasionally she falls asleep on her side, and once on her back, but she never sleeps as well like that.

As much as I hate this process, I still maintain sleep training Ryann was one of the most beneficial things for our family, and I hope that in a few more weeks I feel the same about our experience with Elsie.  I know that there will be many things that might bring sleepless nights, but for the most part I am confident that Elsie will be able to be more independent in the sleep department. 
  

boo sleep training.

I know I know.  You're probably thinking either A) this girl talks about her kids' sleeping habits too much or B) if you don't like sleep training (in our case, a cry-it-out method) why are you doing it?  Well if Elsie would let me rock her to sleep, in a reasonable amount of time, and actually stay asleep, unswaddled, in her crib, then you better believe I'd be in that glider snuggling my baby.  But it just wasn't the case.  She was still sleeping partially swaddled in the rock 'n play and needed me to rock or nurse her to sleep.  Honestly it still wouldn't have been that bad, but I can't just ditch Ry for 20+ minutes here and there to get Elsie to nap.  And Elsie gets so sad and pathetic when she is tired.

So Sunday we went all Ferber on her adorable, unsuspecting little self.

uh mom?  what the heck is going on here?

Bedtime went pretty much as I suspected.  E cried and cried and CRIED.  It was so sad.  Elsie is a really good baby, she tolerates and puts up with a lot, so we rarely hear a real true cry from her.  My heart was breaking.  I quickly wanted to give up and go get her, but I told myself I was committing to three nights, and if after three nights things didn't look much better than screw it.  We'll figure something else out.  I went in at the appropriate intervals according to Ferber's book to rub her back and try and soothe her a bit, but my presence did nothing for her.  She just continued to scream.  After about 35 minutes she finally calmed to sad, pathetic little sobs, and by the 40 minute mark she was asleep (about 9:15pm).

Elsie continued to be restless for another couple of hours, which was not surprising at all.  I'd be a little out of sorts too, if I went from sleeping all wrapped up in an upright position to completely free on my belly (she immediately rolls to her belly when she is put down).  Thankfully she never truly woke up and required me to come back in there until 3am.

She woke up at 3, and was fussing a bit here and there.  She seemed to be trying to go back to sleep, but couldn't.  And her fussing was starting to escalate.  So I decided to feed her.  She has been waking between 3-5am for a feeding for quite a while, so I assumed she was legitimately hungry.  Plus, I'm not sleeping training in the hopes of her sleeping through the night.  That isn't something I'm concerned with yet.  I just don't need an hour+ circus trying to get her back to sleep.  Anyway, I made certain to not let her fall completely asleep nursing.  When she was done, I rocked her just a little, gave her a kiss, told her I loved her and laid her back in the crib.  I was tense walking back to my room, expecting another 40+ minutes of tears.

But she didn't cry.  Not at all.  There was maybe a peep or two while she tried to figure out how to get comfortable, and it did take her at least 20 minutes to fall asleep.  But she didn't cry!  I was so incredibly thankful for that.  She slept for just over two more hours, and woke up for the day around 6:20.

There were still lots of tears for naps on Monday, but for each one it took her less than 15 minutes to fall asleep.  Unfortunately she only slept for half an hour.  The third nap of the day I decided to give her 10 minutes to see if she could fall back asleep, and she did at the nine minute mark.  It was only additional 40 minutes, but she needed sleep.

Elsie's thoughts on sleep training...

Monday bedtime went very similar to Sunday, lots and lots of tears.  Part of the problem, I think, is she is falling asleep nursing, and then is ultra pissed when I lay her down because I don't wait until she is out cold.  That time it only was 30 minutes of crying before she was down for the night, so an improvement I guess, but she was also more worn out from barely napping all day.  She did wake again around 3am.  I watched her try to go back to sleep for about 15 minutes, but she was starting to get more and more worked up.  I went in to change her diaper and feed her and she had pooped.  I'm sure that is part of the reason she couldn't sleep.  But after she was fed she went to sleep by herself with minimal resistance, and slept until 7:30.

The first two naps on Tuesday were the same as Monday, took about 10 minutes for her to go to sleep, and then she slept for about 35 minutes.  For her third nap she actually slept about 90 minutes without waking up.  I was thrilled!  But bedtime was still awful.  Not quite as bad as the previous two days, but still 25 minutes with a significant amount of tears.  And the middle of the night didn't go quite as well.  She woke up very upset around 11:30pm.  I tried to give her a few to see if she could figure it out on her own, but she just got louder and louder.  I decided to feed her and lay her back down.  She didn't fall back to sleep quite as easily as the other two nights, but she did manage to go back to sleep.  However she woke again at 4:30am.  This time I changed her and fed her, and laid her back down.  Again, more fussing than the previous two nights, but she still went back to sleep without me coming back in the room, and was out until 7:45.

This morning nap didn't go very well at all.  Her cries were much more intense than yesterday during nap time, and it took her a good 20 minutes to fall asleep.  And she was only asleep for maybe, 5-10 minutes.  We had a play date planned, so we left the house.  She fell asleep in the car on the way home and slept for about 20 minutes.  Maybe an hour later she was rubbing her eyes like crazy, so I decided to put her down for another nap.  She cried hard for another 15 minutes before finally giving in to sleep.  She woke up crying 40 minutes later.  It had been three hours since she last ate, so I decided to just get her up and feed her.  She passed back out.  I know I should probably have kept her up, for the sake of her learning to put herself to sleep without sucking, but I felt so bad because she was so tired.  So tired that after about 15 minutes without her squirming at all, I was able to carry her from our family room to her room and lay her down (in the rock 'n play, whoops) without her flinching.

So I'm not really sure where to go from here.  I know we're only on day three, and we have three habits we're trying to break (swaddling, sleeping in the rock 'n play, nursing/sucking/rocking to sleep) so I need to cut us both some slack.  But with Ryann I saw a significant improvement by the third day of the Ferber method.  I'm sure it is harder with Elsie because not only are we changing up the situation entirely, but we don't really have a set schedule.  What we do changes daily.  Nor does she have a consistent wake time.  I wish someone could tell me exactly what to do.  I keep hearing just do what works for your family, but I'm not really sure what works for us, you know?  I hate hearing her cry, it hurts my heart so much, but spending so much time rocking her doesn't work either.  I guess I'll give it a few more days and see where we are at.  If it isn't getting better, well... I don't know.

And because I regularly get asked on instagram, we use this monitor.

our favorites | four & five months

Brown Eyed Bowtique Headbands:  Confession, I have purchased WAY too many headbands.  It is embarrassing.  Sarah and I are going to start Hair Bow Anonymous meetings.  But the ones that have gotten the most use recently, are some classic basic bow headbands from this etsy shop.  They aren't too big, aren't too small, come in lots of colors, and go with anything.  Plus she ships super fast.

Rompers and One Piece Outfits:  Rompers weren't the 'cool' thing as far as I can remember from when Ry was a baby.  I have mostly little dresses and onesies from her stash.  But with Elsie?  I can't get enough rompers.  They are incredibly adorable, and way more practical than a little dress.  Those stupid (but cute of course) little baby dresses are always riding up and just really don't work as well as a one piece outfit.

Summer Infant Deluxe Baby Bather:  Around the time Elsie outgrew the sink for baths, it started to make much more sense to bathe her and Ryann at the same time.  At first I tried putting our infant tub in the big tub, but in reality that isn't safe (and it says not to do it on the warning label, whoops).  We found this little bath seat and bath time has become so much easier.

Lovey Duds Baby Carrier:  For the most part, I'm not a baby wearer.  I originally bought this wrap when Ryann was born, and I didn't like it.  However, the problem lies not with the wrap, but the user :o).  Over time I've gotten better at using it, and if you're looking for a cute moby style wrap, these are great.  Mine has held up well, is very well made, and I get compliments on it all the time.  I still would love to try a Solly Baby wrap (hello adorable mint green or polka dot wrap!), but for as little as I baby wear it probably isn't worth the cost.  But.... :o)

Muslin Swaddle Blankets:  I was looking for a cheaper alternative to the Aden + Anais blankets, and came across these ones from the Snug Bug Shop on etsy.  They aren't as soft as the Aden + Anais, but they are just slightly smaller, which was nice for swaddling in my opinion.  Their price point was good, they have some incredibly cute blankets, the shipping and customer service was great... I would recommend them.

Storksak Tania Diaper Bag:  I carried a Coach diaper bag that we snagged at an outlet on sale for three years.  It held up great, was big, had lots of pockets, and I still like it.  But after three years of carrying the same bag I was ready for a new one.  I ordered several diaper bags from Amazon (like six or seven, it was ridiculous), and this is the one I ended up keeping.  It is large, flexible, has lots of pockets and a cross body strap.  So far I am very happy with this purchase.

Aden + Anais Swaddle Blankets:  Honestly, at first we didn't like these for swaddling.  Yes they are stupidly soft and beautiful, but when E was first born they were just too big to swaddle her.  But once she outgrew the blankets we were using, these ended up working just fine.  Currently I use a swaddle blanket I bought off etsy on the inside, and one of these on the outside.

Oball:  Truth is Elsie has a love/hate relationship with this thing.  It catches her eye, and I think she likes that she can grab on to it pretty easily, but it doesn't really go in her mouth all that well.  And really, besides being eye catching, being able to shove it in her mouth seems to be her only other criteria for a toy right now :o). 

Fisher Price Crawl Along Snail:  This was Ryann's favorite toy, and Elsie seems to like it pretty well too.  It is relatively easy to get it to play music just by bumping it, and E has quickly figured out to just smack it to make the song play.  Plus babies always love to look at themselves in a mirror, so win win.

breastfeeding vs. bottle (formula) feeding

Ah yes.  A sometimes controversial highly debated topic.  Which is better?  Breast or bottle?  And yes, I'm talking formula.  Not exclusively pumping.  I have no experience with that.  But I've raised one child who was completely formula fed (aside from a 6 day attempt at breastfeeding that left my blood pressure through the roof and my kid down more than 10% of her body weight.  you can read more about that here).  And now I am exclusively breastfeeding Elsie.  So I thought I'd share a little about what I thought the pros and cons to each were.

For me, the biggest pro for bottle feeding was that feedings didn't really dictate my day.  If I needed to be away from Ryann it didn't matter, there was always food on hand and I didn't have to stress about whether or not she would take the bottle from someone.  And I didn't really have to worry about being in public when she needed to eat.  I'm not opposed to nursing in public, I've done it numerous times, but I'd definitely prefer not to.  And yes I could use pumped milk in a bottle when we're out, but I mean if I'm right there...

It was also really nice that someone else could easily help with feedings.  If I really needed a little bit more sleep Chris could get up with Ryann.  It didn't happen often (because honestly I'd wake up anyway, and no offesne to him, but Christopher is pretty much useless in the middle of the night), but he COULD help.  Those first few weeks that I was feeding Elsie, even if I wanted a little extra sleep and he was willing to help, I was concerned about my milk supply and didn't really want to deal with having to pump when someone else was feeding here.  Again, if I am there, I might as well do it myself.

Personally the thing I hated most about formula feeding was washing the damn bottles (hence the reason I don't often pump or give her pumped milk, I hate washing bottles and pump parts with a passion).  I'll admit I can be a pretty lazy person about some things, and those stupid freaking bottles.  I just hated washing them all the time.  There is nothing to clean when you're exclusively breastfeeding.  Ok, well that might not be entirely true, there could be a little more laundry thanks to leakage and what not, but I'd rather change my shirt than clean a bottle.

Another major downside to formula feeding is making sure you're prepared with bottles and formula and such whenever you leave the house.  I don't have to remember to take my boobs anywhere.  And if we decide to stay somewhere longer than I expected I've got plenty of food along.  Nor do I have to worry about running out at home.  Because we all know I'm notorious for running out of stuff (such as diapers, whoops).  Also I remember whenever Ryann wouldn't finish a bottle I'd see dollar signs going down the drain.  And I was much more reluctant to try feeding her when she was fussy, because if that wasn't the reason she was upset I didn't want to taste a bottle.  My milk is (more or less) free, and if I can't figure out what the heck is wrong with Elsie I can just stick a boob in her mouth.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I don't stress about wasting anything.

Some make the argument that nursing allows for a better connection or bond with the baby.  I can't say that I agree.  I don't feel any more connected to Elsie than I did with Ryann.  But as I've said before, I'm thankful that nursing has forced me to sit down and spend time with E.  Because it would have been incredibly easy for me to pass her off for feedings while I did something else.

Honestly, when it comes down to it, I can't tell you which method of feeding I prefer.  I lucked out.  For the most part nursing has been so easy this time around.  Had I gone through a similar experience that I had with Ryann, I would have given up on nursing quickly.  It was still hard, but not physically excruciating like it was with Ryann.  I think that is one of the biggest downsides to nursing, how terribly hard it can be in the beginning.  The other big downside being how reliant the baby is on you.  You are the only one making food for the baby.  You are the one who has to watch your diet.  Worry that something you're eating might be making your baby cranky.  You worry that you might not provide enough milk.  Your day is constantly interrupted with the need to feed the baby or pump (not that it is always a bad thing, but it is true).  And sometimes nursing sessions can take SO LONG.  I've been late many times because I didn't anticipate how long it would take to nurse correctly.

But there is something pretty damn rewarding about watching your baby grow and gain weight, and knowing that YOU did that.  You protected and nourished that baby in your womb for nine months, and still you are the sole reason he or she is growing.  I definitely patted myself on the back when Elsie gained 2.5 pounds in three weeks (seriously, why did I think I needed to wake her to eat?  she did just fine.  psh.).  It is strange, even after spending an entire year giving Ryann formula, and truly not thinking anything bad about women who chose to formula feed, the thought of giving Elsie any formula makes me cringe.  We'll see how long that mentality sticks around.  At this point I plan to continue nursing her until at least six months (hold me, that is barely more than a month away!), and then I'll go from there.

I'm sure you've heard all of those pros and cons before.  But if there is anyone out there on the fence about which feeding method to try, I thought hearing it from a mama who has done both could be helpful.  If you think you might want to nurse, try it.  Maybe it works out great for you.  I definitely believe breast is best as far as nutrition goes.  BUT, ultimately?  A happy, sane, not too stressed out mama is the most important.  So if that means you need to do formula, so be it.  Your baby will be fed, and I guess really, THAT is the most important thing. 

screw the crib.

Raise your hand if you and/or your baby is a Rock 'N Play addict.  Anyone?  Anyone else?  Ohmygawd why did we get so attached to this damn thing?  And the stupid swaddle?  GAH.

I know I'm being a little dramatic.  I honestly haven't even lost that much sleep.  But that is because I've been going with a three strikes rule, I'll try and put Elsie down in the crib three times, the fourth time I have to get her back to sleep she is going in the rock 'n play.  She hasn't made it past 11pm in the crib.

Elsie has always fought naptime and bedtime a little bit.  Sometimes it was really bad, sometimes she would just give in right away, but there was usually a fight.  The last week?  You'd think I was torturing the girl.  She screams and growls and arches her back and wants nothing to do with me rocking her to sleep.  I thought maybe she was just pissed about the swaddle, but unswaddling her didn't make even the tiniest difference.  She got pissed as soon as she realized it was naptime.  So it is for reals time to do some sleep training.  But I didn't think we could do any of that with her still swaddled in the rock 'n play.

For one, she busts out of the swaddle like it's her job these days.  Doesn't matter how tight I do it, or how many blankets I use, she gets her arms out.  She is a little sleep sack ninja.  And two, I didn't want to teach her to put herself to sleep in the rock 'n play, just to try and convince her to do it in the crib not too long from now.  And I didn't think it was fair to her to go from rocking her to sleep, swaddled in the rock 'n play one night, to setting her down in her crib unswaddled the next and walking away.  So we're trying to just throw all the sleep props out the window at once.  Fun for everyone, right?

Negative ghostwriter.

We started this weekend by swaddling with just one arm in.  That transition hasn't been seamless, but it was going alright.  She didn't nap quite as well and woke a couple times a night (but went back to sleep when I rocked the rock 'n play :o), but it wasn't terrible.  Then last night we decided to try and get her in the crib.  I rocked her to sleep, set her down, she woke up like two minutes later.  I rocked her back to sleep, and she slept for a little over an hour.  Yay and boo all in one.  I rocked her back to sleep, she woke up a minute after I laid her down.  Three strikes you're out.  I fed her, got her back to sleep and stuck her in the rock 'n play.

Monday I decided to try naps in the crib.  HA.  The first time I laid her in there, she slept 15 minutes.  I got her back to sleep and she slept another 40.  But that was already her afternoon nap.  Her last nap of the day she actually slept 90 minutes.  Boom.  Joke's on me though.  Last night I spent over an hour rocking her to sleep, putting her down, her waking up and on and on.  She hit her three strikes by 9:15pm.  Into the rock 'n play she went.  I know consistency is a good thing, but this mama (and everyone else) needs their sleep.

I could not stop laughing at this when I walked in the room.

So now what do I do?  Tonight I really wanted to start the sleep training process with the Ferber method, but I don't know if that's the best idea.  I know lots of you out there are probably thinking I'm awful for wanting to do Ferber, but it worked with Ryann (read about it here, here and here) and changed all our lives for the better.  And with the way she fights me about going to sleep, I'm at a loss for anything else to try.  I really wish we'd tried transitioning to the crib sooner, but we kept coming up with excuses not to.  Oy.

If you have any thoughts or suggestions send them my way.  Unless you're going to slap my wrist for considering letter her cry it out.  That I don't need to hear.  Constructive comments or virtual booze are very much so welcome :o).  We've got to do something, because not only is it frustrating to try and put her to sleep when she's fighting me, but I've got Ryann to be concerned with too.

our favorites | the first three months

This is one of those posts that I've been meaning to write for a while.  Like when Elsie turned three months old.  And now we're a week into our fifth month.  But you know.  I was close.  Here are a handful (plus a few) of items that got a whole lot of use during Elsie's first three months of life.

Halo Sleepsack with Swaddler  ::  The truth is I've had a love hate relationship with this thing.  I LOVED it with Ryann.  With Elsie I've been better at swaddling with blankets, but I still prefer the sleepsack at night.  Because at 3am when I can't function I need simple and velcro.

Pottery Barn Baby Bath Wrap  ::  We've used the kid sized towels with Ryann since she was about six months old.  They are just thicker and better well made than any other 'kid' towel that I've tried in my opinion.  So it just seemed natural to pick up a baby one for Elsie.

Zip-Up Sleepers  ::  First of all, half the time I was too damn lazy to put a real outfit on her.  Secondly?  Again, at 3am you want easy.  Millions of stupid little snaps that you can't sees when you're trying to keep it somewhat dark and you're really not all there anyway?  Not cool.  So zip-up sleepers are a must.

WubbaNub  ::  When we came home from the hospital, the only pacifier Elsie would even consider was the soothie.  Want to know what happens when your sweet little babe spits out a soothie?  It bounces and rolls through the biggest dust bunny in your house.  The wubbanub solves that problem, and you can also kind of prop it against stuff to keep it from falling out of your little one's mouth.

Jacques the Peacock Take Along Toy  ::  I think these things are ridiculous, but Elsie seems to like it.  It is the first toy she ever grabbed for.  She even face crawled across a blanket to get for it.  So apparently it's cool.

Boppy Pillow  ::  This thing is great for nursing, but also for propping baby up as well.  Both Elsie and I hate nursing without the boppy.  Seriously, she sucks at nursing in public because she gets all pissy that her legs are dangling.  Not sure what we're going to do in a couple months when she really is too big for the thing.

JJ Cole Car Seat Cover  ::  I absolutely love this thing for winter babies.  It kept her warm and snug without putting anything behind her (which is a safety hazard).  The only downside is if you use you're carseat without the base you have to pull the bottom off to get the seatbelt through the hooks.

Shea Moisture Organic Baby Bodywash & Lotion  ::  Ryann's skin was pretty sensitive, so we used California Baby smells like nothing thus leaves your kid just smelling wet bodywash.  No fun.  We decided to give the Shea Moisture stuff a go when Elsie was born, and not only do I actually get to enjoy a clean baby smell (it is quite possible I could get high sniffing my kids after they are bathed, so good), but it hasn't seemed to make Ryann's skin any worse.  Win win!

Boon Grass Drying Rack  ::  We were gifted this by a couple of our friends, and I just love it.  We had a Dr. Brown's drying rack, but this one is just so much cuter, and relatively effective.  We have one of the little flower attachments that is nice for hanging smaller stuff off of.

Motorola Video Baby Monitor with 3.5 inch Screen  ::  With Ryann we had a Summer brand video monitor, and I absolutely loved it.  Having a video monitor gives me piece of mind, and came in super handy when we did some sleep training.  But when it came time to add a second camera, the model we had no longer had second cameras available.  And after some research I decided to try the Motorola monitor.  Aside from the battery life of the parent unit, this thing has been AWESOME.  I love the ability to pan the camera from side to side.  I wish I could view both rooms at once, but really this gets the job done.  There are some other video monitors out there that I wish I could compare side by side with this one, but again, overall I am VERY happy with it.

Fisher Price Rock 'N Play  ::  Hands down absolutely our most used baby item.  I've mentioned it before, we tried having her sleep in a cosleeper next to the bed.  After a couple of days of little sleep I tried E in the rock 'n play, and never looked back.  She has slept in it for nights and nap pretty much every day of her little life.  It lets her sleep on an incline (big score for spitty babies).  It is light and easy to move around the house.  Pretty much?  I love it.

I've also got a few items not pictured above that definitely deserve a mention...

Chicco Keyfit 30 Infant Car Seat  ::  Our infant seat is still going strong and I still really like it.  It isn't the heaviest carrier on the market, it clicks in and out of the base easily, the straps adjust easily, really it is pretty great.  The only thing I wish now, is that I could have an all black or dark grey infant carrier.  I loved our pattern when we got it, but now I'd prefer something more neutral.

Medela Pump in Style Advanced  ::  I don't pump all that often.  Once a day really if I'm lucky.  But this pump has been great.  Easy to use, and efficient.  And as a mom you quickly learn that speed and efficency is key.  In theory if I'm only pumping once I could use a hand pump, or a single pump, but this one works great and I'm glad it only takes me 10 minutes to pump.

Hands Free Pumping Bra  ::  It took one time of sitting there holding the stupid shields up to my boobs and not being able to do anything else for me to make a run to Target for a solution.  The one I have is by Medela.  This one has the best reviews on Amazon from what I can tell.  If nothing else at least I can play on my phone while I'm pumping.

Medela Quick Clean Micro-Steam Bags  ::  You can pop these babies in the microwave with your pump parts, or bottles, or pacifiers, whatever you need to sterilize.  Another item that wins because it is easy to use.  Each bag can be used 20 times, I think my box came with five bags.  So 100 uses from one box.  Not too shabby.

Express Best Loved Bra Cami  ::  For the most part I prefer these over a nursing tank or bra.  Around the house (and uh, out of the house, whatever) I'll wear one under my shirt.  They are stretchy enough that I can pull them under my boob, but sturdy enough that they aren't really stretching out.  I tried a Target cami and it just didn't get the job done.  So I pull my shirt up, the tank down, and I'm mostly covered while I'm nursing. 

Seamless Clip Down Nursing Bra  ::  This bra gives me more support than the tank, but it still really comfy.  And it has enough stretch that it can accommodate a changing bust size.  I do have two gripes with it though, the pads inside get shifted around with pretty much every feeding (annoying) and it comes up relatively high, so you have to wear a regular t-shirt or a pretty high cut shirt to not see it.  But it is comfortable enough that I can sleep in it, and almost prefer it to my sleep bras.  I do need to pick up a more structured nursing bra.  I'm open to suggestions!

Apple iPhone  ::  Duh.  My phone is by far my most used posession ever.  Phone calls, texts, pictures, video, this thing is pretty much the bomb.  And with two kids dragging around my big camera is less appealing, so the phone is definitely winning.  I've also got a baby tracker app.  So my phone does and knows all.

I think that about covers the bulk of our favorite items.  If you want a more extensive list of gear that we've used check here.  If you have any questions on gear feel free to ask, and I swear I'll do my best to answer!  I've been terrible about responding to comments.  I'm aware.  But I PROMISE I read every single one.  Thanks for being awesome readers!

elsie - three months old

written May 9th

Three months.  I feel like this is when you officially leave the 'newborn' status, and just have a baby.  My baby is three months old!  Crazyness.  Not going to lie, I'm thankful to put this last month behind us, but mostly because of how crazy life has been and horrible Chris's schedule has been.  The lack of sleep wasn't a lot of fun either...

We haven't been to the doctor since Elsie's two month visit, so our stats are just a guesstimate.  A serious guesstimate.  According to our tape measure she is 24 inches long, and our attempts at weighing her came in somewhere between 12 pounds 3 ounces and 13 pounds.  You know, real accurate.  HA.  We should have weighed her three times, but we only did it twice (with the whole weigh the husband, and weigh the husband holding the baby thing) and got 12 pounds 3 ounces the second time.  So I guess that's what were going with?  That would make her weigh less than Ryann but be longer.  Which leads me to believe we are crappy with our estimates because they look about the same amount of squishy (Ryann at 3 months).

Currently Elsie is in all 0-3 month clothing, with the occasional newborn dress thrown in as a top.  But we will be busting the 3-6 month stuff out in the next week or so.  At least the pants.  Poor girl, always looks like she's wearing crops.  And some long sleeve shirts are more like 3/4 length or something, but hey, who cares.  She is still in a size one diaper, still nursing 6-7 times a day, and is still taking roughly four naps.

Still the first thing I'm sure everyone wants to know about (seriously, why does everyone want to know about it?  first question out of the stranger at the hair salon), how is she sleeping at night?  Well, I haven't a freaking clue how to describe it.  I think in the last two weeks I've had a couple nights with an 8 hour stretch, some nights with a five hour stretch, some with her waking every 3.5 hours, two with her waking every freaking hour and the last two nights she has woken after about 3 or 4 hours, around 12:30, ate, and then slept until 6am and been up for the day.  So um, I don't know?  I'm still trying to let her set the schedule, hoping she'll just fall into a predictable pattern, but no such luck.  Pretty soon here I'm going to have to figure out how to get some more consistent bedtimes and wake times.  At this point Ry had started to give us 8-10 hour sleep stretches at night.  I'd gladly take a little more shut eye!

She hasn't been quite as difficult to get down for naps this last month, which is really nice.  And apparently Elsie would prefer Grammy rock her to sleep for naps now as well.  Tough luck kiddo, sometimes you are stuck with me!  But it is nice that now there is someone else who can put her to sleep.  Now we just have to figure out her letting Christopher put her to sleep... before I can't stand it and intervene of course.  Elsie is still sleeping fully swaddled and still sleeping in the rock and play.  I really wanted to transition away from both, but wouldn't you know girlfriend got her first cold (terrible congestion and cough, thanks sissy!) pretty much the day we were going to try the crib.  So I didn't want to have her flat on her back.  And I tried two days of naps with one arm out of the swaddle, and that resulted mostly in short naps and a totally pissed of baby.  So today I fully swaddled her again.

Even though Elsie is still in the rock and play, we did move it to her room.  Now that Christopher and I are actually back to sharing a bed, it wasn't working to keep her in our room anymore.  He has allergies that makes him, well, a little less than quiet, and he has to get up early for work.  And we were tired of tiptoeing around our bedroom.  The first night was a little tough on me, I missed her.  But I was a lot less emotional than when we moved Ryann out of our room.  Probably because these days I'm spending so much time worrying about the girls, that is nice to have a little of my own space at night.  Hopefully we will be able to transition E into the crib and out of the swaddle sometime soon.

Elsie's spitting up issues have continued to be a lot lot less than they were the first month.  She still spits up after pretty much every feeding, but it just isn't as much and it doesn't come with screaming and tears.  Usually it is clear, which is kind of odd to me, but again, she is much happier in general, it doesn't seem to bother her too much.  I've stayed dairy free for the most part, as well as maintaining a pretty clean diet over the last few weeks.  I'm anxious to give dairy another go, but I think I'll wait until at least next month, if not until she is six months old.  If I remember correctly, Ryann's spittiness slowed down a lot around the six month (even though she was still a spitter until well past her first birthday) so I feel like that would be a 'safe' time to try it.

Tonight we (Christopher) gave Elsie her first bottle.  I was a little worried it wouldn't go over because we waited three months before trying one, but she didn't put up even the tiniest bit of a fight.  Just drank it like that was how it was meant to be done.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little hurt by that.  I mean come on!  Isn't it better straight from the source?  We gave her 2.5 ounces in the bottle that comes with the pump.  When she finished that, she didn't seem like she was hurting for more food, but I didn't know.  I put another 2 ounces in a Dr. Brown's bottle and she wouldn't take it.  Curious if she wasn't hungry any more or if it was the bottle I poured that milk into the Medela bottle and she drank it all.  Too bad we have a million freaking Dr. Brown's bottles...  Nonetheless, it is good to know that should I need to be gone she isn't going to starve.  And maybe possibly there will be a date night in the more near future?  (Mom, Dad, babysit, please?!?)

haha... sneeze

Poop talk alert, sorry everyone, and sorry Elsie!  The dairy free clean diet may have helped Elsie's reflux, but um, I think it has also caused her to stop pooping.  I have changed exactly one poopy diaper since April 24th.  It has been another week since that one.  I can't say I'm not concerned, she was pooping at least twice a day if not more, and then all of the sudden, nothing.  Her tummy still feels soft, and her stool looked relatively normal the last time she went, so it is possible that her system has just changed, and her little body is really only getting the nutrients it needs now, and not producing a lot of waste.  Just because she isn't making smelly diapers, doesn't mean the girl can't clear a room though.  Her toots are AWFUL.  Seriously awful.  Like her entire room sometimes smells like poop and I swear we must have left a diaper in there for two weeks.  But nope, just my baby.  Which leads me to believe there is something in there that needs to come out, but again, she isn't super fussy and doesn't seem to be in pain, so maybe there just aren't a lot of nasty diapers in my future for the next three months? 

Aside from our sleeping issues (isn't that always the case?) little Miss Elsie is a pretty darn good baby.  She can turn into a fuss monster if she is over tired, but if she is fed and isn't on the verge of needing a nap she is content to just hang out.  Either on her playmat, or sitting in someone's lap.  But she is not a cuddler, just like her sissy as a baby.  She gets pretty fidgety and would prefer to lay on her blanket while you talk to her.  And she is chatty!  Her little 'conversations' are just the cutest.  Sometimes it sounds like she says hello, hey and mama.  Also, she is pretty easy to get to smile, and I absolutely love that.  Her smiles are just the best (although Meredith's little Becca really has one of the best smiles I've ever seen, her whole face smiles!).

Elsie's head control has gotten quite a bit better this month.  April 23rd was the first time we really saw her hold her head up during tummy time on the floor.  She'd gotten it up pretty high while laying on the boppy, but that morning we had her on the floor and she just started rocking it!  Now she will tolerate tummy time a little longer.  Especially if her sissy is entertaining her, or she gets into looking at one of her toys.  After rolling over on her two month birthday (tummy to back), Elsie didn't do it again until the day before her three month birthday (May 7th).  I think it will still be a bit before that is a consistent skill, she usually just gets pissed off before she figures it out.  Lastly, in the motor skills department, E is really working on gaining control of her arms and hands.  She concentrates really hard, her arms start shaking and she'll move them toward an object.  Sometimes she'll just stare at her little fists, like she is just trying to figure them out.

Miss E definitely has a thing for her daddy.  When he comes home from work and she sees him, her little face lights up.  And if she is nursing and he is close to me talking, she'll pop off and search for him.  Cute, and annoying of course.  But cute.  It makes me happy though.  With as little as we saw Christopher in her first three months of life, I was kind of worried she wouldn't know who her daddy was.  Obviously they still have plenty of time to build a relationship, but I was worried she would take a bit to warm back up to him or something.  Nothing to worry about.  She loves him.  

Alright on to some more random stuff.  Both tear ducts are still clogged, and no, I still haven't put breast milk in her eyes yet.  I don't know why.  Her eyes still look like they're turning blue.  Her hair I'm not as sure about.  I think it is going to be a shade of blonde, but it looks darker than Ryann's did.  E has picked up the nickname Elsie Belsie, or Elsie Belsie Girl.  Not sure how it came about, but Ry and I both call her that.  And I can see the relationship between those two girls growing everyday.  Elsie loves to watch Ryann move about the room, and Ryann loves to help me with Elsie.  And be all up in Elsie's face all the time.  You know.

Whew! That is probably enough to share for now.  Miss Elsie you are the sweetest.  You are very loved.  I hope you always know that.