June 25, 2013

screw the crib.

Raise your hand if you and/or your baby is a Rock 'N Play addict.  Anyone?  Anyone else?  Ohmygawd why did we get so attached to this damn thing?  And the stupid swaddle?  GAH.

I know I'm being a little dramatic.  I honestly haven't even lost that much sleep.  But that is because I've been going with a three strikes rule, I'll try and put Elsie down in the crib three times, the fourth time I have to get her back to sleep she is going in the rock 'n play.  She hasn't made it past 11pm in the crib.

Elsie has always fought naptime and bedtime a little bit.  Sometimes it was really bad, sometimes she would just give in right away, but there was usually a fight.  The last week?  You'd think I was torturing the girl.  She screams and growls and arches her back and wants nothing to do with me rocking her to sleep.  I thought maybe she was just pissed about the swaddle, but unswaddling her didn't make even the tiniest difference.  She got pissed as soon as she realized it was naptime.  So it is for reals time to do some sleep training.  But I didn't think we could do any of that with her still swaddled in the rock 'n play.

photo 1(18)

For one, she busts out of the swaddle like it's her job these days.  Doesn't matter how tight I do it, or how many blankets I use, she gets her arms out.  She is a little sleep sack ninja.  And two, I didn't want to teach her to put herself to sleep in the rock 'n play, just to try and convince her to do it in the crib not too long from now.  And I didn't think it was fair to her to go from rocking her to sleep, swaddled in the rock 'n play one night, to setting her down in her crib unswaddled the next and walking away.  So we're trying to just throw all the sleep props out the window at once.  Fun for everyone, right?

Negative ghostwriter.

We started this weekend by swaddling with just one arm in.  That transition hasn't been seamless, but it was going alright.  She didn't nap quite as well and woke a couple times a night (but went back to sleep when I rocked the rock 'n play :o), but it wasn't terrible.  Then last night we decided to try and get her in the crib.  I rocked her to sleep, set her down, she woke up like two minutes later.  I rocked her back to sleep, and she slept for a little over an hour.  Yay and boo all in one.  I rocked her back to sleep, she woke up a minute after I laid her down.  Three strikes you're out.  I fed her, got her back to sleep and stuck her in the rock 'n play.

Monday I decided to try naps in the crib.  HA.  The first time I laid her in there, she slept 15 minutes.  I got her back to sleep and she slept another 40.  But that was already her afternoon nap.  Her last nap of the day she actually slept 90 minutes.  Boom.  Joke's on me though.  Last night I spent over an hour rocking her to sleep, putting her down, her waking up and on and on.  She hit her three strikes by 9:15pm.  Into the rock 'n play she went.  I know consistency is a good thing, but this mama (and everyone else) needs their sleep.

photo 2(19)
I could not stop laughing at this when I walked in the room.

So now what do I do?  Tonight I really wanted to start the sleep training process with the Ferber method, but I don't know if that's the best idea.  I know lots of you out there are probably thinking I'm awful for wanting to do Ferber, but it worked with Ryann (read about it here, here and here) and changed all our lives for the better.  And with the way she fights me about going to sleep, I'm at a loss for anything else to try.  I really wish we'd tried transitioning to the crib sooner, but we kept coming up with excuses not to.  Oy.

If you have any thoughts or suggestions send them my way.  Unless you're going to slap my wrist for considering letter her cry it out.  That I don't need to hear.  Constructive comments or virtual booze are very much so welcome :o).  We've got to do something, because not only is it frustrating to try and put her to sleep when she's fighting me, but I've got Ryann to be concerned with too.

28 comments:

rileydog said...

Read EVERYTHING on the Troublesome Tots website- troublesometots.com

She is a great advocate of the sleep props until a certain age- she says that's what babies need. Then she also goes through the steps of how to get rid of them!

Check out the sleep guides for 3-6 months- LIFESAVER!

Anonymous said...

The crying it out worked for us with Hailey, but I think it was when she was older...I know she slept in her swing for many months before transitioning to her crib. Plus I didn't have another child whom could be woken up by the "crying it out" child. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

No advice just a virtual bottle of wine! Do what works for you and your family. Good luck

Ash

Laura Payette said...

I could've written this exact post! We went through all of this with Natasha -- like, to a T. It just took time (a lot of time) to break her of the swaddle and to get her to sleep on a flat surface (i.e., not in the rock 'n play). We started with the swaddle. Once she finally could sleep unswaddled we weaned her from the rock 'n play. There's no magic to making it happen. It took persistence and lost sleep for us. I have "sleep progress" on each of Natasha's monthly posts on my blog (payettestork.wordpress.com -- I can't seem to post this comment w/my open ID credentials). Perhaps you can glean something from them? Hang in there and do what feels right for you and Elsie. You will ultimately reach the other side, even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment.

Mandy@ a sorta fairytale said...

I've never used a rock n' play but my sister swears by hers!! However Easton always fell asleep in his bouncy seat. After he fell asleep, we could move him to his cradle, but yah... we were totally addicted to the bouncy seat the first few months of his life! Luckily, he actually never liked to be swaddled, so we didn't have to deal with that with him. But Bennett?? He was swaddled until he was like 5-6 months old!! The boy had to be swaddled or he wouldn't sleep more than a few hours at a time.
Ohhh the things we do to get our kids to sleep.

Oh and the Ferber method, I used it (a modified version) with both of my boys... it was harder with Bennett because I waited until he was 7 months to do it, but it worked wonders. With East, he took to it immediately. Both of my kids have been champion sleepers every since, can self sooth and stay asleep all night.

You do what is best for your family!

Anonymous said...

Miracle Blanket. Big time. I would stick with the arms in swaddle to transition to the crib and the miracle blanket is amazing. Once she will sleep in her crib I would work on transitioning out of the swaddle. To transition out I know a lot of people who have loved the Woombie. As for getting her to put herself to sleep what worked for use was the incremental method. Place in crib calm but awake, leave for 5 mins, if upset come back and soothe, place back in crib leave for 10 mins, etc etc adding 5 mins each time. Every baby is different but this worked really well for us.

Randi S said...

I had to google "Ferber Method" but it's what we used with my son at 3 months when I had to go back to work. It worked like a charm. You are right - it changes all lives (most importantly the baby's, who needs the continuity of sleep) for the better!

Laura Railing said...

We are going through this with our 9-almost-ten-month old. He LOVES his swing (well, at least when asleep ;-) ) He sleeps with us a bit since he wakes up 1-2 times during the night to eat. I think honestly it's hard to get babies transitioned to sleeping through the night until they are older. We started working on the whole crying part by staying with him and patting his back or tummy or rubbing his eyes to help him associate being calm with going to sleep. Sometimes we have to just leave him and let him cry it out because he just does not want to go to sleep but the amount of crying he has done has gone down. Hang in there mama. You are doing a great job :)

Sandy said...

I had my baby in the Rock and Play until about 10 weeks...I was so scared of the transition bc she slept so well in that thing and hated being on a flat surface to sleep. I was so scared that it would be harder when she was older so I decided to go for it early. What ended up miraculously working for me was the following: we kept her swaddled and put her to bed in the rock and play. When she woke up for her middle of the night feeding I did my usual thing of nursing her, changing her diaper and putting her in the swaddle...she was always very sleepy for her middle of the night feeding...like passed out during the whole thing after nursing...and I just put her in the crib swaddled...I think she was too tired to realize she wasn't in the rock and play. Any other time I tried she would fight it and be pissed but when I transitioned her in the middle of the night...she just kept sleeping for another 4-5 hours. And then I put the rock and play away. We did modified sleep training - I put her on a good day schedule (used momsoncall.com) and when I out her to bed I would let her fuss/cry for 3 minutes and then go in and comfort her (she always stopped crying immediately so I knew she was ok) and her back down and again make myself wait 3 minutes...she would rarely make it to the second 3 minute wait and would pass out for the night. We didn't have to really nap train...I just made sure to put her down when she started showing tired signs (yawning and watery eyes)...i put her down awake and happy and she would fall asleep after a few minutes...if I waited until she was already falling alseep in my arms she would wake up the minute I put her in the crib and she would cry...once I started putting her down awake she learned to put hersel to sleep for naps.

Stephanie @ The Good Stuff said...

I think my daughter is a little older than yours, she just turned 5 months old. Anyway, we love the RnP and have used it from the beginning. I don't mind though. We'll use it until it's not working anymore or she outgrows it and has to be moved. I'm all about going with what works until it doesn't/can't anymore. No sense in messing with a good thing when you don't know what's around the corner :)

Kristal said...

You know I'm not into the sleep training thing, but I definitely don't fault you for using it with Ryann or trying it with Elsie!

Miriam is a great sleeper, but Isaac was a NIGHTMARE. What I learned with my experience with him was this: do what works. Seriously. If she sleeps well with the swaddle and rock n play, then let her stay there! I promise she won't sleep there until college and I swear, she will figure the sleep thing out eventually. I tried all kinds of things with Isaac and basically, nothing worked until he was ready to just do it on his own. I've been way more laid back with Miriam during the few sleep issues we've had and it's left us all happier and well rested. :)

Rebecca said...

Just a thought...I think you said that she has reflux, if not, the never mind. If that's the case part of the issue may be lying flat on her back. You might try a crib wedge to elevate her head a bit and see if that helps at all.

Jen said...

My baby is 4 months old and he is still in the RnP. I tried to transition him to the crib for naps but he will not sleep in his room. I even tried the RnP in his room for naps but it was a no go. He sleeps thru the night 12+ hrs so I don't want to mess with his night time routine yet. I plan to sleep train at 6 months or when it feels right. No judgement if you start sooner. My 1st was a horrible sleeper from day 1 and the only thing that worked was when I finally let her CIO at 7 months. Keep us posted!

Sandy said...

I agree with what everyone said about using what works. And, for us, losing the swaddle was about gaining the sleep sack. When my little man was really little, we would tuck the sack around him like a little swaddle, but we used the swaddle for a long time. We had him in a sleep sack for almost a year after we eventually lost the swaddle.

Jenny said...

I'm in total agreement with what Kristal said. Sleep is developmental, what makes baby sleep better for us, as adults, is time. Which is unfortunate, because, hello, we're tired. But like someone else said, she's not going to sleep in a RnP in college.
Ruby was swaddled for what seemed like ever. 7 or 8 months? It worked. So we went with it. We're also very firmly in the no sleep training camp, but we nurse to sleep. That's not everyone's cup of tea, but it works (SO well, in fact, I'm kind of amazed when I hear other nursing moms have babies that they have to put to sleep AFTER nursing).
Bottom line, do what works, and don't worry about creating bad "habits".

ESB said...

Not usually a commenter, but you just have to do what works for you and your family! We didn't exactly do the "ferber" method but probably a version of it as recommended by other books (Moms on Call worked for us!). I have no shame about it because it helped me to be a good, effective mom in the other areas of our lives. Sleepy/frustrated mom=no bueno around here! Good luck!

Momma Swag said...

Sending thoughts your way! My little guy is only 3 wks and i owe 100% of my sleeping hours to the rock and play.

I think a well-rested momma and baby outweigh the method. Like someone said, I'm sure she'll kick the habit before it becomes embarrassing in college :-) good luck!

Crazycurls said...

Our neighbors were doing major construction on their home when my second was born so he spent many a naps in the swing, away from their side of our house. It was fine at the time but now at 18 months he is going through sleep regression where he is up for 2 hrs in the middle of the night. BOO! Train Elsie to love her crib now! Who knows the ramifications of not loving it later!

Ali said...

My son started busting out of his swaddle like a champ around 13 or so weeks. Out of the Miracle Blanket and everything. Nothing would contain this kid. It took three weeks of rocking him during pretty much all naps after he startled himself awake 30 minutes in before he could sleep unswaddled. We resorted to the Ferber method (CIO) after I felt he was making no progress. He was 16 weeks old, and it took ONE night of crying. No exaggeration. It's crazy but at four months I really think they are starting to cry to get what they want, not just what they need...

Emily said...

I'm so glad to read that so many other people have this issue/concern/worry. We didn't have the Rock n' Play for my first, and he slept fine in the crib, but this new baby threw a fit for a week until my friend brought the Rock n' Play over, and now she sleeps beautifully! Well... if she's tightly swaddled in one of those velcro swaddle blankets, that is. Granted she's only a month old, but I've already started worrying about transitioning her down the road...

Ratliffme said...

Same problem over here! Both of our kids didn't like to be swaddled... So we haven't had to deal with that-but I am running into the same problems as you with the rock n play! I felt that you were writing my story!!! I am following this! We sleep trained our now 5 year old wheN she was little, but I don't remember how we did it which tells me it probably was exhausting and god blocked it out of my mind! Now it's our 5 month old sons turn! I am open to getting him out of the rock n play any way I can!

Justin said...

As my wife and I are trying the transition from the RnP I'm curious how it ended up working for you and your lo.

Ashley said...

Justin-

We ended up using the Ferber method to ultimately drop all the sleep props shortly after this. What greatly helped her however, was her learning to consistently roll both ways, because she was able to get comfortable enough to sleep. Once she started sleeping on her belly she slept fine. Not sure if that is any help at all!

AshleyV_C said...

I put my son in a sleeping suit Zipadee-zip! Our 5-month old was successfully out of his swaddle for a month and sleeping in his own room, but would NOT under any circumstances transition from his Rock N Play to his crib. I was beginning to worry we’d have a 16-year old in a RNP, lol! This kid would be dead asleep and would wake up instantly as soon as you’d put him in the crib…until our Zippy arrived! The first two nights in his Zippy he woke up after an hour (which alone was a miracle to keep him asleep even THAT long in the crib), but when we put him back down he proceeded to sleep the ENTIRE night without even a peep. The Zippy has become his new “”it’s time for my long sleep”” signal that the swaddle used to provide, AND it gives him the of the cozy, cradled feeling of his Rock N Play. “

Katy Chessher said...

We did the same transition. It wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be! We started with naps and worked our way into nights and the zipadee zip helped too bc it kept her feeling cozy since she wasnt being swaddled anymore. It does get easier and they get the hang of it.

Anonymous said...

I truly did not like co-sleeping so when I heard about the Zipadee-Zip, it was a life saver. I finally was able to get my son to sleep in his crib!

Anonymous said...

I found the Zipadee-Zip solved a bunch of my sons sleep issues. First thing we did was stop co-sleeping and then around 4 months place him his swaddle transition blanket. My son's crying and sleep issues were terrible up until 10 months. For the sanity of my wife and I we switched our little man to a sleeping suit. At first I was skeptical, but it really works! We got our Zipadee-Zip from Sleeping Baby- its a gamechanger! We started using it around four months, and it soothes him and helps him fall asleep faster. I plan to continue having him use it for a while :)

Anonymous said...

Crib sleeping is now making my sleep so much better! My LO sleeps in his crib while wearing a Zipadee-Zip sleeping suit! The suit has conditioned him to know that its time to go to sleep. Anyone else experience the same with their kids!