I'm fully aware that I am not in the shape I was prior to baby numero dos. Better shape than I was in before Ryann came along, but not on the top of my game. I think I've voiced that fact more than once. But for some reason I've still been holding on to hope that running will magically get easier again and I'll feel like I'm kicking butt.
Yeah, not happening.
There is a 15K race in town this Saturday. I was toying with signing up. I figured it could be a training run for the half this month that I am also considering. I ran seven decent-ish miles last weekend, a little break after training for the half, and then yesterday I planned to hit double digits again. But... but... when I started going, I just didn't want to. I didn't want to run 10 miles yesterday. And I don't want to run the race on Saturday. I sort of fought with myself throughout the first half of my run yesterday, about whether or not I should finish out 10, and whether or not I should race. I felt guilty about wanting to call it quits early.
But that is just plain stupid.
Running is a freaking hobby for me. Something I do because I like it. And because it means I can eat dessert, but that is beside the point (kinda). So if I don't want to do it I just plain shouldn't. Obviously I want to exercise and keep my body healthy, so it isn't as though I'm going to just stop running/working out all together. But for the love, if I don't want to run double digit miles than I don't have to! Not to mention at this point that race entry would have cost me $50. I think I'll just hang on to that cash, go for a run on my own, and call it a day.
fall running wins in the scenery department.
I managed to finish out 8.5 miles, and I am still considering running the half in a few weeks, so I'm going to try to keep up the long runs until then. But if I change my mind than whatever, no big deal. Finally giving in to all of that was rather liberating. If I wanted to stop and walk I didn't feel guilty. In terms of staying healthy, the miles are miles and as long as I'm putting one foot in front of the other (and resisting the urge to eat all of Ryann's Halloween chocolate), than I am good to go.
Hopefully with this thought process I'll be able to get back to actually enjoying running, rather than feeling like it is torture.
I'll tell you what makes running a whole lot better though, not having to run in the freaking darkest part of the morning. Don't get me wrong, I think daylight saving time is just a cruel joke that the world likes to play on parents of young children, but being able to actually see more than two feet in front of me while I'm running is pretty darn awesome.
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