March 29, 2015

dear ryann

Miss Ryann Elizabeth,

How on Earth are you FIVE?!?!?  I can't seem to wrap my head around it.  You are five.  In the fall you'll go to kindergarten.  You will spend almost more time away from me than you will with me.

... and now I'm crying.  Sorry, the hormones are raging.

Watching you learn and grow every day has been such a wonderful blessing.  You challenge me in so many ways, but I wouldn't change staying home with you for the world.  One of the most exciting things I've been able to watch you learn recently, is how to read.  Suddenly you can decode lines of text, and it is just fascinating to watch.  And you love to practice writing things too now.  Not really letters per say, no, you just have to write sentences and stories.  The things you ask me to spell for you are getting more and more complicated.  One of my favorites was one morning you were frustrated with Elsie, and you came to me and asked me to spell "Friends who are not nice don't get to ride an animal."  We were heading to the mall and going to ride the carosuel, and you wanted to make certain she knew that if she didn't start being nice, she wouldn't get to participated.  I had to hide my giggles while said each letter.

Some days you have the kindest heart.  Especially towards your sister.  (Some days not so much at all but hey, you're just five now.  I suppose I can cut you some slack.)  You hate when she is in trouble and won't get something special, or if she asks me for something and I tell her no, you want to give that item (generally food) to her.  You regularly feel the need to smother her in hugs out of the blue.  It always catches her off guard and she freaks out, which in turn upsets you, but the gesture is so sweet.  I know you mean well, and one day she'll understand.  You guys crack me up when you play nicely together too.  Usually you'll get her to pretend to be some sort of animal, and you guys crawl all over the family room doing who knows what.  She looks up to you so much, always trying to mimic you.  I know as you get older you'll be a wonderful role model for both of your sisters.  And I think you'll be their protector too.

Ry you've always been my buddy.  We have a good time together.  But with each day I see you truly becoming my friend.  One who understands my hopes and wishes, who wants to hear my thoughts, and who wants to share back with me too.  With each year I've watch your heart grow, and to see you care about my feelings and the things I want, I just can't even describe it.

I know our relationship will always have it's ups and downs.  You're going to eventually turn in to a moody teenager and you'll hate me because I'm over protective and annoying.  But I love you so much, and while I will forever be your mom first, I hope you'll want to be my friend too.

You're amazing, my little unicorn.  I hope all your dreams come true.


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