December 5, 2014

four weeks


how far along:  4 weeks (compare to 4 weeks with Elsie)

size of babyaccording to the bump a poppy seed.  The baby is currently just a blastocyst.  A tiny ball of cells.  Crazy to think that itty bitty speck is going to turn into a baby.

weight gain:  0 pounds.  This week will be my starting point.  Starting off 1 pound heavier than I did with Elsie, but still in much better shape than when I got pregnant with Ryann.

maternity clothes:  nope

symptoms:  I had a day with some nausea, but otherwise nothing.  As much as I don't want to feel like crap, I just wish I had some symptoms for reassurance.

exercise: I've been terrible about recording my workouts lately, but if I had to guess I'd say I got in 3-4 runs.  Hoping to stay active again this pregnancy.

cravings/aversions:  nothing really.

movement:  nope.

sleep:  Staying up too late and not getting enough of it.  Which makes me super tired and crabby during the day.  Good plan, obviously.

gender:  I don't have a clue.

looking forward to:  seeing a heartbeat.  I desperately need to see a heartbeat.

worries:  After a chemical pregnancy my last cycle, I'm currently terrified of another.  Or just a miscarriage in general.  I worry every morning that when I get out of bed I'll find blood.  I'm trying to think positively.  Just because I had one chemical pregnancy doesn't mean I'll have another.  But I'm scared to the point where I'm essentially pretending I'm not pregnant to keep myself from getting my hopes up.

what's different this time:  Not really feeling excited yet.  I hate that.  Of course I'm happy to be pregnant again.  But I just have this weight on my chest, and I hope that it will be lifted soon.

milestones:  I'm pregnant!

best moment this week:  Seeing those two lines again.  Even if I'm not able to truly feel it, I am excited.

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