seventeen weeks

written September 13th

This isn't really pregnancy related, but figured it was relevant to this week and I might as well share.  Wednesday on my way to pick up Ryann from MDO I was rear-ended.  It was in a school zone, and I believe the guy tried to stop, so he didn't hit me all that hard.  There is a bit of damage to my car, and my flip flop cut my foot a little when I slammed on the breaks to keep from slamming into the car in front of me, but overall, not too bad of a situation.  The hardest part was the flood of thoughts and emotions that came with it.

I saw it coming in my rear view mirror, so of course the first was just fear of what was to come.  And then I was pissed that he had hit me.  Once I had pulled over the tears came.  I was thankful it wasn't that hard of a hit.  Even more thankful that Ryann wasn't in the car with me.  And then I remembered the baby in my belly.  The little innocent babe that hasn't even been born yet, and already there are so many things I can't protect him/her from.  Thoughts of all the terrible things that could have happened quickly flew through my mind.  But the reality is that the baby and I are fine, and Ryann wasn't in the car.  She was safe and sound at the church with plenty of loving people to watch over her.

Honestly though?  Today was harder than yesterday.  I was in a car accident while riding with my friend and her mom when I was 14.  Not going to lie, it traumatized me a bit.  I got 300+ stitches in my forehead, but other than that wasn't seriously injured.  The part that has stuck with me though, was the feeling of helplessness and fear.  Seeing what was coming and knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it.  All of that was brought to the front of my mind yesterday.  So today, driving to my parents in the rain in a good amount of traffic through a construction zone was terrifying.  I swear I had one eye in front of me, and one eye behind, waiting for something terrible to happen.  Of course nothing did, but the tightness in my chest was suffocating the entire hour+ drive.

how far along:  17 weeks (compare to 17 weeks with Ryann)

size of baby:  according to the bump an onion, about 5.1 inches long and weighing 5.9 ounces.  Baby gaining some fat, growing stronger and, um, getting a thicker umbilical cord.  Cool beans.

weight gain:  3 pounds.  Eek!  Gained 1.5 pounds last week.  I know 3 pounds is nothing to stress about at 17 weeks, but still hard to stomach.  Trying to stick to a pound a week and gain no more than 25 pounds this pregnancy, 30 at the very most.

maternity clothes:  Yes.  I took the plunge, the weather was a bit cooler, and I wore my maternity pants.  So incredibly awesome and much much more comfortable.  It is a little tough because they do like to slide down, but the belly has gotten a little bigger this week and can hold them up a little more.  I'm also wearing regular pants, but with a hair tie through the button hold.  Tops are all still regular, except for a couple of maternity tanks underneath my regular shirts to hold the pants on.

symptoms: This week?  Just a growing belly.  HOORAY!  I've only had to take my headache medication once this past week.  I wish I hadn't waited so long to get it, but thankful that I don't really need it as much.

exercise: Another six days of workouts this week.  A 2.65 mile walk, a 50/50 Group Fitness Class, a 3.6, a 5, a 5.25 and a 6.35 mile run.  I'm proud of the miles I'm getting in, but I will definitely be thankful after the half (which I have officially registered for, no backing down now!) when I don't feel as obligated to run.  I loathe the treadmill and don't feeling forced into 4+ miles on the thing.

cravings/aversions:  I love sweets.  I hate olives.  That is about it.

movement: I've maybe possibly probably not felt the baby here and there, but I really have no idea if it is just gas or something.  I'm hoping in the next two weeks I'll start to feel some solid movement.

sleep:  Not as good this week, I had a couple nights of being up for an hour+ in the middle of the night, plus there is my kid who hates sleep, so you know...

gender: More and more my gut instinct is to say she when talking or thinking about the baby, but my brain is still telling me a boy.  Only 10 days until we know for sure!

looking forward to:  Feeling movement and the gender reveal party.

worries:  If we'll be ready to handle another kid.  Which the truth is no, I'm not sure you're ever really ready for a baby.  But hopefully we can deal.  I'm also a little worried what Ryann is going to do if it is in fact a boy.  We were wandering Target (duh) and I randomly said "I can't wait to find out if you're going to have a baby brother or sister, so we can buy some cute little clothes."  Ryann responded with "it's a baby sister."  I said, "I know you think that, but it might be a boy, you might have a baby brother."  Cue complete epic meltdown, "BUT I WANT A BABY SISTER!"  The lady in the section with us couldn't help but laugh.  I don't know why she wants a sister so bad, but Lord help us if she is getting a brother.

what's different this time:  The pregnancy seems to be going by quicker (I say that now...) than it did with Ryann.  I'm sure that is because I have a lot more going on, and much less time to dwell on the baby.  I can't believe how close I am to halfway.  And then the holidays will start and then all the sudden it will be 2013 and then we will be having a baby!

milestones:  another week down

best moment this week:  Hanging out with some old work friends, and watching Ryann play incredibly well with a little boy who is 7 months older than she is.  They were so incredibly cute together.  They were playing in his room and Steph got out the baby monitor so we could listen in.  It was seriously so adorable hearing them talk to each other.