thirty-four weeks

I guess this picture will have to do this week, for now at least.  I couldn't find my black dress (this is actually a shirt), it was dark and gloomy and I haven't figured out how to make my light scoop work with my new camera, and there are guys in our house working on the bathroom so I felt a wee bit awkward about setting up a tripod to take a selfie...
 
written January 10th

Well, this week was better than the last.  Nothing amazing, but better.  And I'll take it. 

Another doctor's appointment today.  I feel like I have them every other day.  I'm sure it will only get worse once they are every week!  Everything still looks great, and my BP was only 118/72.  I'm going to attribute that to the fact that I didn't have to take Ryann with me to the appointment this time :o).  My doc wasn't concerned at all about the contractions I had, because they have since been extremely minimal.  So no restrictions for me, yay!  And we officially put the induction in the books (February 15th), so five weeks or less until baby.

My hormones, emotions and anxiety are at an all time high right now.  We got Christopher's schedule for February (finally), and I knew it wasn't going to be good.  But I'm freaking out.  He has four days off in the month.  Yep four.  The 15th-17th (yes, we're just going to assume/hope/pray I'll make it to the induction date) and the 24th.  He works two different stretches of nights, one towards the beginning of the month, and then like four starting the 18th.  So yep, have a baby, and then goodbye husband.

I'm trying to remind myself again and again that the days will go by quickly and it is just going to be a blip on the radar.  But FREAKING out.  My mom is pretty much going to be living with me most of the month.  I know she'll do her absolute best to keep me sane.  But in general, it is going to be really hard.  Newborn + husband on nights + a toddler?  Yeah...

Add to that a bathroom remodel to deal with a mold issue, an inability to sleep and a to-do list that feels like it isn't getting any shorter?  I'm losing my mind.  I hate it.  I hate feeling like this.  I know most of the stuff is trivial, and that yes, it is probably the hormones.  But I'm upset and mad and frustrated and just... Oy.

I'm looking forward to March. 
 
how far along:  34 weeks (compare to 34 weeks with Ryann)

size of baby:  according to the bump a butternut squash, between 17.2-18.7 inches long and weighing somewhere between 4.2-5.8 pounds.  The bump was kind enough to inform me that baby girl may be able to recognize and react to songs she hears often, and of course that she is urinating about a pint a day.  Good to know, good to know.

weight gain:  18.6 pounds.  Gained .6 pounds this week.  Interesting enough my weight gain has about evened up with my pregnancy with Ryann.  I still expect to gain more than 20 pounds this time, but hopefully not by much!

maternity clothes:  Of course.

symptoms:  Um, my palms are itchy at night if I don't take a Benadryl.  I swear someone mentioned that to me before, maybe my cousin?  It's weird.  But everything else is just the same old same old.  I'm big, pregnant, no sleeping and uncomfortable.  Not dying.  But not enjoying myself all that much either.

exercise:  Three walking workouts totaling 8 miles.  I took a full week off, and then have just been walking, taking it as slow as I can mentally handle.  If I go too fast I feel like I've been kicked in the crotch for the next 24 hours anyway.  So comfy, let me tell ya.

cravings/aversions:  Soups and salads.  On New Years Day my parents took Ry and I to Applebees, and I had the oriental chicken salad with some tomato basil soup.  Haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.  Well Ry and I headed to my parents tonight and my Dad was kind enough to pick up Applebee's for dinner :o).  Yes I had the same meal.  And yes I would totally eat it again tomorrow if someone would go with me!  Also?  I really really REALLY want some mini Cadbury eggs, thanks a lot Sharstin!

movement:  This girl is nuts.  Seriously.  My belly is always going all over the place.  And the other night Chris could distinctly feel a limb.  Like he could almost wrap his fingers around a leg or something.  Kind of creepy.

sleep:  I tend to dread nights now.  It is tough to get comfortable, I can't stay asleep, and then I'm just pissed off.

gender:  Girl.

looking forward to:  Our bathroom getting finished and getting our house put back in order.  I'm seriously in nesting mode, but I feel like every time I start cleaning or organizing something it quickly gets messed up, or there is a pile of crap here and there (or a toilet, vanity and shower base in the nursery, you know) and I can't make any progress.

worries:  A little (a lot) worried about how we are going to survive the first few weeks with a new baby.  I know we will make it, but right now it doesn't seem like it will be all that enjoyable.

what's different this time:  Meh, I'm not sure right now.  Aside from the blood pressure issues last time, I feel like the only big difference this time is how much this little girl moves.  She is such a nut!

milestones:  another week down

best moment this week:  In my current emotional state I can't think of anything.  I'm sure there was something great but I can't really think of it.  Ryann's MDO program finally started back up (thank you sweet baby Jesus I needed that), and my mom brought up the crib skirt she sewed and the rugs for the nursery.  That is exciting, minus the fact that I can't really get the nursery set up.  It will happen though, it will.  Just stay put until the 15th baby girl, please?  I need the time.